The big baby names survey: How parents name babies now

Highlights

Setting the stage for success
Playing it safe in difficult times
Bringing the world home
Sealing the deal early
Kinder, gentler baby names
Googling for losers
Do middle names and nicknames matter?
Handling baby name battles
Calling in the professionals
Finally, the perfect name

Choosing a name for your baby is one of the biggest – and most difficult – decisions of early parenthood. And it's not one you take lightly, if you're anything like the more than 3,800 parents and expectant parents who responded to our 2008 Baby Names Survey.

We discovered that you're broadening your horizons when it comes to baby names and looking for names that convey qualities like kindness and compassion. But you haven't forgotten about tradition – these challenging times have you going back to family names and choices that feel safe and secure.

You're searching for something unusual but not weird, classic but not boring, and meaningful in all the right ways. And of course, it has to sound good with your last name, lack embarrassing nicknames and initials, and be something you and your partner both like. It's a challenge – but one you said you're up for. After all, your baby won't care what kind of stroller you pick or what color you paint the nursery, but her name will last a lifetime.

Setting the stage for success

You want the best for your child, and the right name will take her places, you said. In fact, 67 percent of parents and parents-to-be told us they believe a child's name contributes to success in life.

"A child must be proud of his name. It gives self-confidence," said one mom who took our survey. "I've always heard that a child will live up to his name – and I've seen true examples of this," said another. "Your name is part of who you become, part of your personality," added a third.

And a bad baby name can spell disaster, moms said – responsible for teasing, ostracism, low self-esteem, and even a less successful and happy life.

"Years of ridicule, fights on the playground, shame. Need I say more?" said one. "A name is a first impression," added another. "It needs to adapt to any social or business situation." "Society has a preconceived notion of another person based on their name," said a third.

Playing it safe in difficult times

After a year of violence and terrorism abroad and a tanking economy at home, we're all being a little more cautious – with our investments, our grocery budget, and even when it comes to choosing our baby's name.

Parents are opting for names that connote strength and stability – or revive memories of happier days. (Check out our top baby name trends of 2008 for more details.)

"The name we picked is old-fashioned, has a story behind it, and sounds good with our last name," said one parent who went with a strong and safe baby name.

And in another traditional move, more expectant parents are choosing baby names that honor relatives or other people important to them. Parents-to-be are 7 percent more likely to name their baby after someone or something in particular compared to a year ago, our survey found.

"He's named after a friend killed in Iraq," said one mom. "We named her after my mother, who passed six years ago," said another.

We also saw a growing interest in faith-related names, which may offer strength and encouragement in difficult times. Nine percent of parents-to-be told us they're planning to name their baby after a religious or spiritual figure.

Traditional may be popular, but parents are seeking a twist on the typical – they don't want their child's name to be as common as the Sarahs, Jennifers, and Jessicas (and Michaels, Jasons, and Matthews) of their school days. Instead, old-fashioned names that sound fresh to modern ears – like Emma, Sophia, Isabella, and Olivia for girls and Ethan, Jacob, Jackson, and Noah for boys – continue to rule the roost on BabyCenter's top 100 names list.

Bringing the world home

A taste for solid and secure names isn't preventing parents from looking beyond their own backyards – or cultural backgrounds – for the perfect baby name. And with a new president named Barack Hussein Obama, it's clear that you don't have to have an "all-American" name to go places.

"I chose a Hawaiian name even though none of us are Hawaiian," said one mom. "I lived in Hawaii for five years and thought it was a fitting name for a beautiful, feminine girl."

"Many cultures have so many beautiful names to choose from. Why limit yourself?" said another mom.

In fact, 80 percent of parents and parents-to-be told us they'd consider baby names from ethnicities different from their own or their partner's. Chalk it up to globalization, immigration, or just the good old American melting pot.

Said one mom: "We're such mutts ourselves that neither of us identify with a specific origin."

Sealing the deal early

New and expectant moms tend to be pros at planning ahead – and that applies to baby names as well. A whopping 71 percent of you said you had a list of potential baby names in mind before you even got pregnant. Interestingly, more than half of those moms ended up using a name from their pre-pregnancy list while the rest went with something else entirely.

Most expectant parents aren't waiting to see their babies before deciding on names – in fact, 40 percent of moms- and dads-to-be told us they made their final name choice right after finding out the baby's sex.

Expectant parents aren't shy about sharing their baby's name, either – 66 percent said they told people as soon as they decided, compared to 26 percent who wanted to keep their baby's name a secret until after the birth.

And while committing to a name while your baby's still doing backflips in your womb may seem risky, moms said deciding on a name early on helped it feel "real" to them – and most of them (34 percent) said from the moment they picked their baby's name, it fit like a glove.

"The name seemed to suit him perfectly when we saw him," said one mom.

Kinder, gentler baby names

Many of you said you picked a name simply because you like the way it sounds. But what it conveys – the qualities a name conjures up – is also very important, you said.

While the majority of parents and expectant parents (69 percent) think a boy name should say "strength," many are showing a softer side. "Kindness and compassion" are increasingly popular qualities for a son's name, which may explain the popularity of softer, gentler boy names like Aiden, Jayden, and Logan on our top 100 names list.

The move toward nurturing names is even more striking for girl choices. "Kindness and compassion" rose to the top as the most important qualities for a daughter's name, displacing previous number-ones like femininity and individuality.

It may be that after a rough 2008 we're looking for names that show tenderness rather than might. We may also be more serious and less superficial: "Intelligence" rose as a quality that parents and parents-to-be said baby names should convey, while "good looks" slid.

Googling for losers

When it comes to what a name shouldn't convey, you're doing your research to make sure you don't give your baby a name saddled with unintended meaning. Seventy-six percent of parents-to-be who've chosen a name said they'll plug it into Google (or have already) to see what comes up.

Caution though: Some startling results may force a name change! "There was a serial killer with the same name," said one shocked parent.

Other reasons you're discovering for tossing names you otherwise loved? "It's the name of a celebrity who we don't want our child named after," said one parent. "The initials would have been awful," said another.

Do middle names and nicknames matter?

Many parents-to-be agonize over the perfect middle name (or middle names – some parents are choosing two or more). But these names aren't always useful – most of the parents we surveyed (27 percent) rarely use their child's middle name, while 19 percent said they use it often, and 3 percent use it in place of their child's first name.

Still, parents value middle names as a way to honor relatives and loved ones. Many of you said that middle spot comes in especially handy for names that aren't as lovable as the people who bore them – think Great Aunt Maude or Grandpa Archibald.

"My daughter's middle name is my name and her grandmother's middle name," said one mom.

The middle name, you said, still serves the age-old purpose of calling out bad behavior. As in: "Mary Elizabeth Paulson, come here right now!"

Or as one mom explained: "Her middle name is inserted when she's pushing her luck."

But when it comes to how you commonly refer to your child, nicknames are far more important than what's in the middle. In fact, 63 percent of parents in our survey said they use a nickname for their child – and 25 percent of these often substitute a nickname for their child's given name.

"My son has tons of nicknames and we use them as well as his real name," said one parent. "We named her Camryn with the plan of calling her Cammy," said another.

Some parents are skipping "real names" altogether and instead choosing names traditionally used as nicknames, like Abby, Charlie, and Jake rather than Abigail, Charles, and Jacob.

Handling baby name battles

After hours of research, soul searching, and making baby name lists, you've found the absolute perfect name for your child. And then your partner gives it the big veto.

After your initial bout of disappointment (and perhaps severe irritation), it may comfort you to know that half of expectant parents who haven't settled on a name yet said they're disagreeing with their partner about what to name their child.

And of the pregnant moms who have chosen a baby name, more than half had to abandon a name they loved because their partner didn't feel the same way.

"My husband hated the name that I loved," said one mom. "Maybe I'll convince him the next time!"

Sometimes other family members – or friends – torpedo a favorite baby name. "Our children had difficulty saying it," one mom explained of a name she tossed. "Our other pregnant friend had 'dibs' on the name," said another.

Calling in the professionals

A few of you got so fed up with baby-naming issues that you called in a professional baby name consultant. Sound tempting? Of the parents-to-be we asked who are still searching for a name, 21 percent said they'd be interested in hiring a pro to help.

Finally, the perfect name

Whether you go with a traditional, cross-cultural, or never-heard-of name, rest assured that it's very likely that both you – and your child – will ultimately love it.

A whopping 95 percent of parents we asked said they'd choose the same name for their child if they had to do it over again. And their children like the name inked on their birth certificate as well, said the vast majority of parents who have kids old enough to express a preference.

And while most parents would agree "That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet," as Shakespeare famously wrote, there's something all the sweeter about giving your little flower a name that helps him or her blossom.